PreTTy wOmaN

i had a long conversation with one of my guy friends that night.. and he pointed out something i didn’t notice before.. but now that he did.. i can’t help but agree with what was pointed out.. yet i don’t agree with what he concluded of me.. he said that i’m a woman who likes the chase.. the attention that guys give me.. and the time i spend with them.. but when things get serious i would withdraw and run off.. so i admit it.. i’m afraid of commitments.. and i believe that love… in any form.. will not last forever.. that’s why they should always end when the chase is over.. and then he concluded me to be a player.. well… am i? i personally don’t think i am.. i value people’s feelings and i never intentionally try to toy with them.. just that i can’t bring myself to say yes.. i like my single status and the freedom it gives me.. i just can’t vision myself being attached to one person for too long.. so does that make me a player?

i was thinking (yet again) why do people cheat or at least be tempted to. I never could understand why cheaters would hurt someone they claim they love. I used "claim" for love means being truthful.

and now that i’m in a situation wherein i could either cheat or not, i have caught a glimpse of the reason–correction reasons.

i could not generalize them; all i could do is tell you mine. Perhaps, i was feeling unloved. to be frank my current relationship is far from ideal. i am lucky if i could meet him twice a month. the messages have become habits rather than a portrayal of feelings. they say absence makes a heart grow fonder, and for me that is quite sad.

but why can’t i leave him? i want to say i’m doing it out of guilt, because of hurting him more than once…but i can’t help but think perhaps i am afraid. i have departed from my numbness, that the shortness of love no matter how small it is would destroy me.

in the end, i stand corrected, the ONLY reason cheaters exist is selfishness.

Note On Cheating..

i was thinking (yet again) why do people cheat or at least be tempted to. I never could understand why cheaters would hurt someone they claim they love. I used "claim" for love means being truthful.

and now that i’m in a situation wherein i could either cheat or not, i have caught a glimpse of the reason–correction reasons.

i could not generalize them; all i could do is tell you mine. Perhaps, i was feeling unloved. to be frank my current relationship is far from ideal. i am lucky if i could meet him twice a month. the messages have become habits rather than a portrayal of feelings. they say absence makes a heart grow fonder, and for me that is quite sad.

but why can’t i leave him? i want to say i’m doing it out of guilt, because of hurting him more than once…but i can’t help but think perhaps i am afraid. i have departed from my numbness, that the shortness of love no matter how small it is would destroy me.

in the end, i stand corrected, the ONLY reason cheaters exist is selfishness.

LetTiNg gO!!!!

TO LET GO IS TO FEARLESS AND LOVE MORE…